The Attempt Failed but Who was Trying

Figure 1 Pictured here is the bedroom window of one of our top informants. There is an eerie light seeping between the cracks of the cardboard. Apparently the cardboard is in place to keep light out, which makes sleeping late into the morning easier. The cardboard not only saved him from the Sun but also saved him from being abducted.

We Will Not Be Pushed Around!
One of our top informants was nearly abducted through his bedroom window recently.   His name can’t be revealed so we must refer to him as Number One for the rest of this article. Number One has provided information on articles appearing on this web site later things year. We are concerned for Number One but we now must turn our microscopes inward and report on our own.

Imagine His Silhouette on Video and Digitized Voice to Hide His Identity
“I just can’t believe it. I almost wet my pants.” Number One states with a slight quiver in his voice. “It was just past 2:00 A.M. when I was startled from my sleep. There was a flash of light and thump at my bedroom window. I couldn’t see anything past the cardboard which I place in my window to block morning sunlight and evening moonlight. Not much later two consecutive thumps occurred, both of which were accompanied by flashes of light. I caught the third flash of light with the digital camera which I keep by my side at all times. I crept out into the neighboring room, my kitchen, to look out a different window. I couldn’t go near that bedroom window. I was worried about what I would see staring back at me once I pulled that cardboard down. When I looked out the kitchen window I noticed something like a blue spotlight shining down from the sky, directed at my bedroom window. It was very faint. Suddenly that stream of light flashed and I heard the thump against my bedroom window simultaneously. Shortly after the fourth thump, the light simply faded and nothing else happened the rest of the night.” Continue Reading »

Jerry Lewis Spy Android Backfires

Figure 1: Pictured; the U.S. Government’s robotic engineers tests lubricants on the Jerry Lewis android while running diagnostics on his main computer system located in his upper torso.

Need a Spy? Send in the Clown!
What is the easiest way to sneak a spy into a foreign country? Not to sneak at all. High profile celebrities have the best chance of working their way in and if they get caught, most likely no harm will come to them. A beloved celebrity would be safe from harm and hard to prosecute because of their beloved status all over the world. Perhaps this sounds a little too close to a movie like TOP SECRET where an American Rock star is involved in espionage.  National Exposer is starting to wonder if TOP SECRET was inspired.

It isn’t common knowledge that back in the 1940’s Jerry Lewis was the American star turned spy. There was, however, a little twist in that story. Simply put, he is an android from the 1940’s. His sole purpose was to infiltrate German forces from a French launching point. First, let us cover the android development.

Nutty Professor Creates Nutty Professor
The U.S. was nervous about German activity in and near France during World War II. A scientist by the name of Dr. Jerry Frankman, working with the government, devised a plan that shocked U.S. intelligence. He proposed the U.S. send an android to do a man’s job. The plan was to send a flawlessly realistic android over enemy lines. If he was captured, it would be no loss of manpower but a great experiment in human android realism. If an American android could fool military personnel in a foreign country it would be a leap forward in robotics. Dr. Frankman was given the go ahead. They figured he would fail at the attempt and they could exploit any advancement in robotics which may come out of it. By the end of 1944 Dr. Frankman was finished. National Exposer’s staff is stumped how Frankman could technologically pull this off. However, there is clear evidence of cybernetic research as far back as the 1940s. We also suspect that the government had access to technologies well beyond their day (as they do now). Perhaps the technology was part of  the research the U.S. government continued later that decade. We know of a similarly advanced experiments in aeronautics was attempted in the last 1940s. We have evidence of an experimental craft crashing at Roswell in 1947 which may have spurred advancement, but that’s another story. Continue Reading »