Figure 1: Although blurred as a result of a quick take, this photo clearly shows a large metallic humanoid lifting a car off the ground.

As Summer Block busters movies release upon our theaters, themes of super heroes seem to be the current trend. Check out National Exposer’s coverage of real live super heroes this Summer. NE starts with a real world IRON MAN. Back in 2001 this image surfaced among our network of agents. Though blurry it clearly shows some sort of metallic humanoid dispensing some hurt on an automobile.

In recent months we have intercepted communications concerning a press release. These messages include plans of revealing top secret protective body armor. It appears the authors of these communiques feel that the IRON MAN movie has paved the way to spill news of armor suit technologies. A sly way to earn public support by releasing real life controversial technology similar to a hot movie such as Iron Man and the soon to hit theaters Iron Man 2.

“It is time to reveal our technology to the world. Hollywood has provided an avenue where our suit may be warmly welcomed at this point in time.” reads one line from this covert letter. National Exposer staff has reason to believe that the technology featured in the following article has been perfected and will be release soon. Continue reading about this metal man…

I Don’t Want to Start a Riot!
Do You Want to Start a Riot?
Civil Unrest Law Enforcement Takes Matters into Their Own Giant Hands

He Fights and Fights with Repulser Rays!

Tony Stark didn’t use his millions to hitch a ride into space. He just built a technologically advanced Iron Man suit and continued to develop it until he could fly one in space. Actually, Marvel’s Iron Man comics had a much more heartbreaking origin story. Necessity was the mother of his invention. Since then the entertainment world has previewed more Iron Man spin-offs such as The Guyver and the short lived Spitfire from Marvel’s New (old) Universe, not to mention all of their armored enemies.

This isn’t Tito in a Million Dollar Suit.
Who said it was a suit at all? It could be an automated robot or remotely controlled. We can’t really tell from this photo.

“It talked,” states the Realtor who snapped the photo. “The giant armored guy said no more speeding for you, then literally hopped over the building that I was about to photograph. It was gone in an instant.”

This indicates at least some direct human control. The building she is referring to is 3 stories tall. Her experience only lasted about 4 seconds. The armored man leaped over the 2 story building across the street, grabbed the car before the driver could even hit his brakes, crushed the engine while making it’s speeding declaration, dropped it and jumped over over the photographer and the building she was standing in front of. Police reports clarified that the driver was eluding the local police in a high speed chase so “RG-1C” backup was called in.

Nip It in the Bud!
We have picture proof. We have an eyewitness. Do local officials deny it’s existence? No. They see no harm in National Exposer revealing it to the world a little early. We have been asked not to reveal the small town test location of the RG-1C riot suit. In exchange for protecting the small town’s peace and quiet, we were allowed to relay a small bit of information about the armor suit pictured above. The RG-1C (Riot Gear version 1C) is basically a suit of armor with enhanced strength and durability. We were not given details on how strong it is but apparently it can lift a car with relative ease. The armor’s outer skins is made of an alloy that is flexible so that it can absorb pressure but has an inner skin that is quite rigid and sturdy which can sustain quite a bit of pressure. How much pressure, we were not told, but it was mentioned that tank canons were fired at it to test durability. Our eye witness saw a car wreck into the armor’s forearm without making a dent (in the suit, the car didn’t fair as well) which was impressive enough. It does not fly like Iron Man but uses an air compressor which builds up pressure in air tanks located in the leg and lower torso modules. As the suit uses the powerful legs to jump, an extra boost is given in the form of a compressed air blast. That was all of the information they were willing to give. Power supply? Robotic infrastructure? We don’t know. We were able to get one more bit out of them. It is a suit of armor worn by an actual person, however they are looking into remote control via a virtual reality suit.  This would allow a pilot to be tucked safely away from the action. Still; why the Mr. Fancy Pants armor suit.?

When Emotions Run High, All are in Danger
The Army National Guard is often brought in to settle civil disputes. Violent riots have occurred internationally over recent years which results in organizations like the Army National Guard appearing to defuse the situation. It is a difficult conundrum. Riots often result from protests, which were originally meant to make a statement to the public concerning a difficult issue. It is usually accelerated by others taking advantage of the situation by physically lashing out in frustration. Eventually someone will get hurt. It can be an innocent bystander, a protester or one of the law enforcement officials trying to control the situation and arrest those that are breaking laws. Current riot gear does not protect the officers and guardsmen adequately and the force they use to turn back the masses usually results in physical injury. In this state of emotional duress protesters and law enforcement alike can mistakenly lash out in anger or self-defense. How can this problem be resolved? Take away law enforcement stress by giving them a tool that keeps them safe from harm.

Isn’t This Tin Tuxedo a Bit Elaborate?
Imagine walking into an angry mob with the confidence that no one you are facing can harm you. They may be angry with you but you are there to do a job and not judge. There is no hand carried weapon or explosive that can injure you while wearing that suit of armor. No fear, no anxiety, no need for rash actions. Simply grab a person, put them in a police van. Go back, grab another, “rinse and repeat”. They can beat on you, try to set you on fire, shoot you, stab, spit, curse, tell you your mamma wears combat boots, kick you in the butt, TRY to pull you to the ground, but none of it will get through even the first layer of armor. Eventually, you will bag the whole crowd or they will realize they are fighting a losing battle and retreat. What about urban or suburban high speed car chases? An Indy 500 wannabe will let loose their driving skills on the streets of America, enticing the local law enforcement to join their self-proclaimed stock car race. In this suit of armor one could chase a car down in a series of jumps and strides. By simply stopping right in front of it, an instant road block results. A quick resolutions to a normally long drawn out chase. The poor driver pictured above chose the wrong town to rev up his sports car

Is this a bit extreme? Yes, but we live in an extreme society. It is refreshing to see law enforcement embracing newer technologies so advanced that they out class criminals. Armor piercing bullets not to mention lucky head, arm and leg shots render bullet proof vests useless. Besides, anything that involves giant mechanical armor suits is alright by us. Bring back the round table and the jousting too. Maybe chivalry isn’t dead yet. Get the fire department some protective armor too. Rescued by a knight in shining armor could hold a brand new meaning.